Sunday, December 30, 2012

The End of the Line

I realized that I never shared something that happened at the visitation the night before Aziza's funeral. There was an endless lineup of people waiting to offer condolences. The line up was nonstop for three and a half hours. And at the very end ... I saw him. He had waited to let others go before him. And he was one of the last in the line. I would have known him anywhere. A tall man who could be mis-perceived as being threatening. But I knew better.

A giant teddy bear, with tears welling in his eyes. He knew no one other than me ... And even we barely knew each other. His name is Christopher. And on December 4th our lives collided. We had met once before ... But December 4th our lives became entwined. 

Christopher was the nurse who was with Aziza after the code blue was called at the first hospital. He was one of the medical professionals who came in the ambulance on that terrible terrible trip to Sick Kids Hospital. His difficult job was to keep Aziza alive for that twenty minute drive. And along with the on-board pediatrician, respiratory therapist and paramedics - he did. She amazingly survived the difficult transfer between hospitals.  He had worked over her furiously in the ambulance, trying to keep her stable.  He did an amazing job. He stayed at the second hospital until Aziza was rushed into surgery. 

But he showed up at the funeral home full of remorse ... So upset that he could not have done more. Refusing to accept that he was her angel during that very scary ride. His tears would not stop ... And as we embraced at the funeral home ... I was so moved by the genuine love he had for Aziza and for his job. Practically strangers ... Connected forever.

4 comments:

Notsopc said...

Wow, that man must be a super special guy.. I remember my mom, who was a nurse, when she was sick and she started crying, She said, I couldn't save him and I tried so hard. She was talking about a little boy from years before.. I told her I knew she tried her best.. I think there is that one that always lives in the hearts of a nurse or doctor.. Your baby will always live in that mans' heart. My heart goes out to you and your daughter. I can't imagine your pain. It's nice you have so many friends and family to love you..
Nancy

Anonymous said...

I'm glad that you and the princess were supported by such caring professionals during those awful few days. Having such important people in your life cannot change what happened but I hope it can bring you some small comfort.

teal915 said...

We had to evacuate our house last night because of a carbon monoxide scare. Emergency workers are amazing. They carry so much on their shoulders. What an amazing guy.

Anonymous said...

Prayers to u I lost my only son in October I can relate to your pain. I pray for your strength <3